Are You Ready to Have Sex

I think it's very important to know you want to have sex before you have it. And have it for the right reasons. Sex is best when you are in love. So, if you ARE still a virgin, please read below.

Am I ready for sex?

Almost everyone asks themselves "am I ready to have sex?" at some point in their lives, but unfortunately not many people will be able to answer it with a definite "yes" or "no". Having sex for the first time can be a very special experience, but it can also lead to all sorts of complications. Sex without a condom or other form of contraception can result in pregnancy, and if your partner has HIV or a sexually transmitted infection (and you might not always know they do), you can become infected too. There can also be emotional consequences to having sex with someone – it can really change a relationship, and not always for the better. Sex can be enjoyable with the right person, but it’s very easy to make mistakes and end up hurt, which is why people advise you: "don’t have sex until you’re ready!"
Of course it's all very well saying this, but how do you know when you’re ready? Legally, you aren’t allowed to have sex with anyone until you’re over the age of consent. But it takes more than just being a legal age to make you ready for sex – you need to be emotionally ready too. Here are some questions to help you work out if you're ready to have sex.

1) Are you doing this because YOU want to?

Or are you thinking about having sex because someone else wants you to? Maybe you’re not sure you’re ready, but your partner is keen? Or perhaps there's a bit of ‘peer pressure’ – all your friends seem to be having sex, so you feel you should be too?
Do any of the following sound familiar? -

• “You would if you loved me!”
• “It’s only natural!”
• “Everyone else is doing it!”
• “Don’t you want to make our relationship stronger?”
• “You’ll have to do it sometime – why not now, with me?”
• “I'll be gentle, and it'll be really great, I promise!”
• “I'll only put it in for a second...”

If you recognise any of these phrases, then you should think carefully! These are not the right reasons to have sex. A partner who says things like this is probably trying to put pressure on you and might not really care whether you’re ready or not – this person doesn’t respect your feelings, and they’re probably not the right person to have sex with.
Nor should you have sex just because your friends are saying things like :

• “You mean you’ve never done it?!?”
• “I lost it when I was twelve. . .”
• “Yeah, I’ve had sex loads of times. . .”
• “You’re a virgin, you wouldn’t understand. . .”
• “No-one’ll be interested in you if they hear you’re frigid.”
• “It's amazing - you don't know what you're missing!”

It may feel like your friends are all more experienced and knowledgeable, but we guarantee they're probably not! Many of them will only be saying this sort of thing because they think everyone will laugh at them if they admit they’ve never really done anything! Besides, being sexually experienced at a young age doesn’t necessarily make someone mature or sensible - in fact, it usually indicates the opposite.

2) Do I know my partner well enough?

If you’ve only just met your partner, haven’t been going out with them very long, or perhaps don’t even really know them, then sex is never going to be a really good experience because there won't be much trust between you. If you've never even kissed the person you're with, then you're definitely not ready to have sex with them!
Sex can leave you feeling very vulnerable afterwards in a way you might not be prepared for, so it’s better to be with someone that you know is likely to be sticking around. Usually, you’ll have better sex with someone you know really well, are comfortable with, and who you can talk to openly about relationships and feelings. Sex will be best with someone you love.

For more information, go to http://www.avert.org/ready-sex.htm